echo_of_my_soul

Faithathon master list updated

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 02:12:08 GMT

Just so everyone knows, I've added another few fics to the Faithathon master list. I'm still waiting to hear back from four of the authors, but if I end up needing another person to write back-up, will anyone volunteer? Especially on a Faith/Firefly crossover?

Faith Ficathon Master List

Sun, 21 May 2006 19:13:49 GMT

The Have a Little Faith (Or a Lot!) Ficathon list is officially up! Now if everybody would be so kind as to post a link to their story, I can add it to the list.

And again, if you're interested in writing backup, comment or email me. I just have this feeling that there are going to be several people who haven't and don't plan to write a fic.

aaronlisa wrote Confessions for thelastgoodname

alixtii wrote Five Views on Breaking and Entering for cadence_k

cadence_k is writing delayed for lillianmorgan

escritoireazul wrote What She Doesn't Have for aaronlisa

faechick wrote Of Wolf and Man for escritoireazul

kaffetaar is writing for unnua

lillianmorgan wrote Meeting of Like Minds for afteriwake

settiai wrote Ordinary Day for kaffetaar

thelastgoodname is writing delayed for settiai

unnua is writing for alixtii

Backup
alizarin_nyc wrote All the Boys to the Yard for faechick

Backups?

Sat, 20 May 2006 17:03:07 GMT

I may need backup writers for the Faith Ficathon. The master list doesn't go up until tomorrow, but I have a feeling a couple people will drop out last-minute, and I already know one person has definitely dropped out. Would any of you be interested in writing backup for me?

Once I know which assignments need backup, I'll send out an email with the options. If there's one you think you can do, feel free to claim it, and if there isn't anything that you think you can write, it's okay. I'm just trying to prepare a little bit, although I guess if I was really preparing, I would have asked this a week or two ago. *grins sheepishly*

"Something to Believe In" Faith/Buffy, FRAO

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 23:41:28 GMT

Title: Something to Believe In
Author: Echo
Email: halo_and_horns@mail.com
Characters/Pairings: Faith/Buffy
Classification: Mildly angsty 'shipper, with sex
Rating: FRAO
Word Count: 1,090
Disclaimer: They are the brilliant creation of one Mr. Joss Whedon. I make no profit, so don't get on my case about using them for my own purposes. After all, I'm being nicer to them than Joss ever was.
Summary: For Buffy it seems like it's always one step forward, two steps back. How come Faith gets ten steps back, big huge leap forward?
Notes: Written for thewishverse in southernbangel's Happy Endings Ficathon. Sorry it's so late! Request at end.
Notes 2: I switched back and forth between tenses, and that was on purpose. I hope it's not confusing. Set after Chosen, vague time frame. Thank you so much to sarakat, who took a quick look and told me it was okay to post! If it's not, I blame it entirely on her. It has nothing to do with me as a writer, it's her fault for giving me the go-ahead. ;)

There are bruises around her wrists from where she's broken the cuffs off. Again.

Buffy always thought it would be fun to handcuff someone to the bedpost, but that was before she realized her penchant for picking lovers who were strong enough to bust both the cuffs and the bedpost.

She never thought Faith would let herself be cuffed, either. Faith's the kind who would do the cuffing. Somehow, though, Faith's the grown-up here. The one who's mature enough to take Buffy's crap because she knows Buffy just needs to "work through her issues". The one who's adult enough to understand that Buffy's dark place isn't going to disappear just because she saved the world. Again. Faith knows that Buffy's angry because she lost more people. Buffy never looks at the slaying gig as a war, something where there are casualties on both sides and people will die. Buffy thinks she can save them all.

Delusional bitch with a God-complex, Faith called her once. Buffy hit her, an instantaneous reaction, and Faith smiled as blood spilled from her split lip. "You just don't get it, do you, B?" she'd asked, chuckling as she held a napkin to the torn skin, soaking up the crimson. "Slaying isn't about you, it's about them. Protecting them."

"That's what I'm trying to do," Buffy had insisted. "Protect them. Except I'm failing."

Faith shook her head. "You protect them by killing their demons before they know they're there. By keeping them from figuring out that what they're afraid goes bump in the night really does. You can't keep protecting them if you're so caught up in what you haven't done that you keep not doing it."

When did Faith get so wise? Buffy doesn't like it. It's like the younger girl grew up ten times faster than Buffy did, and she doesn't think that's possible. Look at all she's faced over the years. Dawn, her mom, Angel and Spike and saving the world time after fucking time... Faith never did any of that. She just killed, and then went to prison. How does that show growth?

She spat that at Faith one time, and was disappointed when Faith didn't hit her for it. She'd been itching for a fight and wanted Faith to be the one to strike out, so Buffy could feel justified when she attacked Faith. So she could slam her fists into the beautiful brunette's face and not feel guilty because she's taking out her rage on the only person who could possibly understand.

Instead, Faith had lain back, reclining against the fluffy pillows Buffy overloaded their bed with. Buffy knew she was lost as Faith smiled and slid her fingers in Buffy's hair, tugging with just enough force to make Buffy wince and fall forward.

Her lips were on Faith's throat, her teeth nipping lightly at the tender skin over her pulse point. Faith refused to let her go near the side of her neck. Buffy didn't understand the brunette's aversion to it. They both wore their scars from Angel, only Buffy wore hers proudly. It didn't make sense to her that Faith, who had more reason to be proud of hers, was ashamed of it. After all, Faith had done it to save her savior. Buffy had hers because she'd saved her lover.

Just one more thing where Faith won at being the adult. Just one more reason for Buffy to be bitter that the girl she remembered as the eternally immature fuck-up has left her behind. Buffy doesn't like that, either. She hates feeling like everybody else has already figured out how to grow up, and she's the only one left.

She'd thought that sleeping with Faith would be mature. That a lesbian relationship would make her deep and wise beyond her years. It doesn't. It just makes her a girl who likes to eat pussy more than she likes to suck cock.

She'd slid down Faith's body, spreading her legs and opening her up, her lips nestled between Faith's, wet and flushed and pink. Buffy had inhaled the aroma and, not for the first time, wondered what the rush did to vampires if it was enough to dizzy and overpower her?

Buffy's tongue plunged forward, sliding between Faith's folds, the tip tracing over Faith's clit and causing the other woman's hips to jerk upward.

"Fuck, B," Faith groaned, her fingers twining in Buffy's blonde strands, pulling her face closer. She arched up, fucking Buffy's tongue with her pussy. "Shit, that feels so damn good."

Buffy smiled, a rare thing for her anymore, as her mouth moved over Faith's cunt, her tongue stroking the wet lips roughly. Her fingers reached for Faith's breast and collided with Faith's hand. The two of them played with Faith's nipples for a moment, their fingertips sliding over each other's as they plucked at the rigid peaks, squeezing and caressing.

Faith moaned harshly as she pumped her hips up, her orgasm getting closer as Buffy held her hips and buried her face between Faith's thighs. She slid two fingers into Faith's pussy and thrust rapidly, her thumb hitting Faith's clit on every stroke. Faith gasped rhythmically until her release exploded within her, consuming her with the ferocity of a tidal wave, and she let out a wild, keening cry.

Afterward, as she lay curled against Faith's sleeping form, Buffy had felt guilty for lashing out at Faith. Even then, she supposed she'd been jealous of Faith's ability to make the adult decision when it came down to it. Maybe being in prison had allowed Faith to grow up. Maybe it hadn't. But there was no denying that Faith had shown her maturity when she turned herself in.

Buffy hates that she's jealous of Faith.

Even more, she hates that Faith's not jealous of her. Not anymore.

It doesn't surprise her now that when she approaches Faith with the leather belt, her eyes questioning, Faith understands. She holds out her hands, allowing Buffy to wrap the leather around her wrists and tie her to the bed. She gets why Buffy needs the control now. Faith is finally secure enough to give it to her.

Watching Faith gives Buffy the courage to believe that she'll get there, too. So maybe their relationship didn't give her that deep, infinite wisdom she thought she'd end up with. It's given her something better. Something to hope for, and believe in.

When she smiles at Faith, it's real. It says, "I'm getting there." And that's enough for both of them.

Request:

Pairing and/or character requested: Buffy/Faith

Up to three things you would li ke included in your story:
angst before they get to the happy
sex (maybe even a bit of kink if you can manage it)
I just want them to be happy (eventually)
a leather belt

Up to three things you would not like in the story:
- cutesy pet names they call each other
- character death (ok, I guess that one's pretty unlikely considering the nature of this challenge!)
- making it happy without showing how they could get there from the dark place

Rating preference: NC-17 but any rating is fine.

Aww... :(

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 22:29:59 GMT

My pretty yellow rose from sarakat went away. I know they go away after two weeks, but still. I wanted to keep it, even when it was all withered and crinkly and brown.

...

Okay, so it's an LJ rose and wouldn't wither or get crinkly or turn brown. Which makes it all the better and why I would want to keep it.

But I've discovered the solution. I'll just give people big puppy dog eyes until they buy me LJ virtual flowers, so that I always have one. *gives random big puppy dog eyes to whoever's around with a credit card and can be guilted*

Yeah, okay, that so won't work. LOL

Beta?

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 21:53:21 GMT

Would anyone be interested in doing a quick 'n dirty beta job for me? Nothing too in-depth or thorough. Just enough to say, "Okay, this makes sense," and "No, nothing makes me cringe and go, WTF?". (Not that I don't want a good story, but it's already late enough as it is.)

Fic is very short (roughly 1100 words), Faith/Buffy, mild FRAO. Mildly angsty, but it's for the Happy Endings Ficathon, so not too bad.

Any takers?

Quick bitch

Thu, 16 Mar 2006 04:16:02 GMT

Who in the hell do I have to kill to make people realize the word is VILLAIN! Not VILLIAN! On the list of misspelled words that drive me nuts, that one has got to be in the top five. Seriously!

/rant

I'm such a fangirl

Thu, 16 Mar 2006 02:54:44 GMT

Okay, so has anyone else seen the ads for that majorly stupid-looking Amanda Bynes movie, She's the Man? Yeah, I cringe, too.

But one of the geek-dudes had a sweatshirt on that says "Illyria" on the front! *squees over the Angel connection*

Unsung Heroes

Sun, 12 Mar 2006 22:06:56 GMT

Okay, so southernbangel has declared this week Unsung Heroes Appreciation Week. I'm not too actively involved in fandom, and when I am it's mostly just to read or write fic. But I still have a few people I'd like to thank.

For today, I pick cadence_k. Cady is an absolutely wonderful person and I'm so lucky to be able to call her my friend. She is one of the most active people I know in fandom, seeking to bring femslash to the forefront, and encouraging other people to recognize it as well. Participation in femslash communities/'thons/etc. has increased so much since she started her activism, and so many people are expanding their writing/reading boundaries because of the attention she's brought to the genre. Her tireless organization and moderation of groups femslash_minis and femslash_santa mean that there's a lot more quality femslash out there for all of us to read.

*hugs Cady* Thank you for all your contributions and the effort you put into fandom!

A few recs

Sun, 12 Mar 2006 21:51:05 GMT

I don't do recs very often (or, at all), but I have a few that I just have to rec. I read a really good fic by callmesandy last night and wanted to rec it, plus I wanted to rec agilebrit's fic for me from inlovewithnight's Valentine's Day Fluffython, and figured I should get a couple more to make a nice round post. :)

From callmesandy:
Who By Accident , Buffy/Connor
It actually makes sense. And it's so very perfectly Buffy. I giggled at most of her dialogue. Just go read it. (This will be a common theme.)

Carpinteria Sang In Me , Faith/Cordy
It's hot and both her Faith and Cordy voices are done amazingly well. Just a day in the life.

From agilebrit:
Facing Fear , Faith/Mal
It's funny and she nails the voices and I loved everything about this fic. Great inclusion of River, and the Faith & Jayne interaction is awesome, but the Faith/Mal beats it all.

From fox1013:
I Swore I Heard You Laughing , Lilly
Absolutely astoundingly good fic. Perfect LillyVoice. Better than the writers over at Veronica Mars could do themselves, I bet. Extraordinarily funny, poignant, and the best Lilly fic out there.

From Kate Bolin, who may or may not have an LJ, 'cause this is an old fic:
Perspective , ensemble
Six perspectives on a single event, and the last line just grabs you and turns the entire fic upside-down. Brilliant writing.

From Dumbsaint, who may or may not have an LJ, 'cause this is an old fic:
Once More, All Naked, All Gay , ensemble
Fan-fucking-tastic. Freaking hysterical. I laughed until I cried the first time I read this, and it's one of the few fics that I go back and read over and over and over and over... You get the idea. You don't know what you're missing out on if you haven't read this fic. (In case the title doesn't give it away, it's Once More, With Feeling re-written to be all naked and all gay. The re-write of the songs is priceless and I'm in awe of Dumbsaint's talent.)

Let me know if you guys want me to keep doing recs. I don't read a lot of fic or very often, but if you like the quality of these recs, I'll pop in whenever I can to do them.

"All American Vampire", Angel and Fred

Sun, 05 Mar 2006 05:06:42 GMT

Title: All American Vampire
Author: Echo
Email: halo_and_horns@mail.com
Characters/Pairings: Fred and Angel
Classification: Fluffy friendship
Rating: G
Word Count: 574
Disclaimer: They are the brilliant creation of one Mr. Joss Whedon. I make no profit, so don't get on my case about using them for my own purposes. After all, I'm being nicer to them than Joss ever was.
Summary: Angel was determined to help Fred take another step.
Notes: Written for inlovewithnight, who requested Angel and Fred as friends, a baseball cap, a cell phone, and being happy. Set early S3. (I seem to have a love for early Fred right now.) Unbeta'ed.

Fred peered up at Angel through a tangle of dark brown hair. Her face was almost obscured by the oversize baseball cap pulled down low on her forehead. "Why are we here, again?"

"Because you need to get out more," Angel explained patiently. He handed her the hot dog and soda he'd gotten from the concession stand, then sat beside her. "Didn't you ever go to softball games when you were younger?"

Fred shook her head, her hair swishing around her face. "Nuh-unh. We were rodeo and greased-pig people."

Angel paused for a minute, not knowing how to respond. "Well, now you can be softball people." He nodded his head toward the diamond, where several players in bright white uniforms tossed softballs back and forth at each other for warm-up. The pitcher stood at the mound and fired several fastballs at the catcher, who caught them easily. The bright lights lit up the dark of the night, and the stands were half-full of chattering people.

Fred smiled brightly as she took in the scene, then glanced over at Angel and waved her little pennant flag. "Thanks for bringing me to the game, Angel," she said, her voice shy. "I know I've been a pain and all, hiding in my room and making everyone worry and wondering if I'm looney tunes and-."

Angel interrupted her. "Fred." When she stopped speaking and looked at him inquisitively, he smiled gently. "No one thinks you're looney tunes." He paused. "Well, maybe Cordelia. But to be fair, she thinks we all are." Fred giggled. "We worry about you because we like you. We want you to be happy."

"Oh, I am!" Fred replied eagerly. "I'm happy bein' here and around you all and having a purpose in life besides running from the people who want to kill me." Her voice faltered. "You rescued me. I'm happy. Really."

Angel looked relieved. "Well, now we want you to have fun, too. Wes suggested you might enjoy a softball game. It's all physics."

Fred considered his words. "I hadn't thought of it that way." Her eyes gleamed as the calculations and equations began to fly through her head. She opened her mouth, but Angel stopped her before she started.

"No running commentary about trajectory."

She grinned sheepishly. "Okay." They watched the players move onto the field and were startled when a little tune began to play.

Angel glanced around. "What is that?"

Fred followed the direction of his gaze, then looked down. "Um, Angel, I think it's your cell phone," she explained, pointing at the small object that was lighting up and jumping around on the metal seat beside him.

Angel picked it up and fumbled with it, searching for the "send" button. He glared in annoyance as Fred plucked it out of his hands and answered it. "Hello, Angel's phone." She paused. "Sure, he's right here."

She handed the phone over. "Wes."

Angel took the phone from her with a grimace. "Yeah, Wes. We're at the softball game. Is it important? Okay. No, I'm going to stay here with Fred." He gave her a smile. "Fill me in when we get back." He pulled the phone away and stabbed at it in frustration until the call was disconnected.

"Do you need to go back?" Fred's voice was laced with disappointment.

Angel shook his head and smiled at her. "Nope. I'm staying right here with you. Is that okay?"

Fred beamed. "Absitively."

"This Girl", Cordelia/Fred

Sun, 05 Mar 2006 04:16:44 GMT

Title: This Girl
Author: Echo
Email: halo_and_horns@mail.com
Characters/Pairings: Fred/Cordelia
Classification: Fluff
Rating: PG
Word Count: 514
Disclaimer: They are the brilliant creation of one Mr. Joss Whedon. I make no profit, so don't get on my case about using them for my own purposes. After all, I'm being nicer to them than Joss ever was.
Summary: Fred knew there was a reason she came out of her room.
Notes: Written for viciouswishes, who requested Cordelia/Fred, the necklace Angel gave Cordy in Heartthrob, movie ticket stubs, and being content. Set after the aforementioned episode. Unbeta'ed.

"He said small steps. That's what Angel said, so I thought I'd try, because small steps aren't so hard, not when you take just one and then another, and then pretty soon you've taken lots of steps and lots of steps take you lots of places." Fred beamed at Cordelia, holding up her ticket stub as they left the theater. "Like the movies. This sure was fun."

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Not sure 'fun' is the word I'd have picked," she said dryly. "That wasn't even a passably good horror flick. Just a lot of hot bimbos getting killed in supposedly creative and yet completely unimaginative ways. I mean, please. Trapping a girl in a hot tub and electrocuting her?"

Fred frowned, glancing up at the marquee sign. She'd thought Valentine would be a sweet romantic comedy or something like that, and had been shocked when it turned out to be a horror movie. She couldn't disagree with Cordy about the hotness, though, which had made the movie worth sitting through. She'd hardly noticed any of the implausibilities. "I liked it."

Cordy smirked. "At least one of us did. Maybe it wasn't a total waste of money, after all." She glanced at the other girl and smiled. "Besides, we got to hang out, just you and me. How often does that happen? Like never, right?"

Fred nodded vigorously, then stopped suddenly. Her glasses slid down her nose at the abrupt movement. "I shouldn’t be so enthusiastic about that, right?"

Cordy laughed. "I don't think you know how to be anything other than enthusiastic, Fred," she said with a warm grin, throwing an arm around Fred's shoulders.

Fred flushed and tried not to let the warmth from Cordy's touch spread all the way through her body. She fought to not think about how Cordy's breast was pressed against her upper arm.

She glanced over and went hot when she noticed the way Cordy's necklace nestled between her generous breasts. It really set them off. "That's a nice necklace!" she chirped, her voice high and thin.

Cordy glanced down and smiled. "It is, isn't it?" she said, reaching up to play with the blue stone. "Angel brought it back from Sri Lanka. He totally knows how to win a girl's heart."

Fred's face fell. "You love Angel?"

Cordy snorted. "Oh, yeah, right. Mr. 'I'm so Broody If I Smiled It Would Crack My Face'? Please. I need someone who actually can smile without it killing them."

Fred lit up, her lips stretching in a huge smile, her eyes sparkling. "Like this?"

Cordy laughed. "Yeah, kinda like that. Except not so, y'know, scary."

Fred immediately relaxed, a small grin turning her lips up.

Cordy giggled and threw her arms around Fred. "I'm so glad you're around. To be honest, it was starting to feel a little like Testosterone Central around there," she confided. "Not that I don't love Wes and Gunn and Angel, but a girl needs another girl around sometimes, y'know?"

"Definitely," Fred agreed. She held Cordy tight. She knew she'd always want this girl around.

Rewatching Angel

Sun, 05 Mar 2006 03:24:34 GMT

Okay, it's been forever since I've seen Heartthrob, the S3 premiere. I wasn't completely impressed with it, mainly because the whole thing with James getting his heart removed kind of bored me. But since viciouswishes had a ficlet request that included the necklace Angel gave Cordy in that episode, I figured I should re-watch it (mostly because I didn't remember what necklace that was.)

And I have to say, I have never been a fan of Cordelia/Angel. At all. I liked the concept way back in S1 of Buffy when Cordelia was all hot for him, but in Angel? Not so much. However, at the beginning when Cordy opens up the door and gives that little shriek when she sees Angel, I just get a little gooey. The emotion catching in her voice when she says, "You're back!" and then hugs him? *sigh* One of the few C/A moments I truly love.

Also, the fact that Gunn says, "Thanks for the head, bro," to Angel? Never really saw the slashy subtext there, but that line totally cracked me up. :D

Now, off to go write ficlets for inlovewithnight and viciouswishes.

P.S. This exchange?

James: I'll be sure and tell Darla the utter lack of concern you had for her.
Angelus: Buy her a hat. She loves hats.

Priceless.

Recs?

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 05:35:38 GMT

I'm not one of those people who reads a lot of fanfic. I see a lot out there that I want to read, and then just never get around to it. I usually have to be in a very specific mood to want to read fic.

Well, I'm there now, and I have no idea how to go about searching out good stuff. I'm scared of trolling through the flist and the flist's flist, because I might get lost and never find my way out. LOL So, recs?

Rec me just about anything Angel-related, I'm in a mood to try anything. The only thing I don't care for is boyslash, as I like regular slash *grins at wisdomeagle* just fine. (Although I will read Wes/Gunn and Spike with either Wes or Gunn.) I especially love anything with Faith, as most of you know, but I'm also liking Fred a lot more now, with pretty much anyone (Cordy or Lilah, Angel or Wes or Gunn, etc.), and I'm in a strange mood to read Connor/female-other-than-Cordy fic.

So, really, I'm open for almost anything that's set within the Angel series. Even if you think I wouldn't normally read it, rec it anyway. I want to read stuff that I haven't read before, whether it's by my flist or my flist's flist or my flist's flist's flist. I trust you guys to point me in the direction of quality writing. :)

Thanks in advance!

ETA: Yes, I remember the ficlet requests. I have ideas for all of them, but have not committed them to laptop just yet. They will be posted prior to midnight Saturday, as promised.

Ficlet-ish drabble-y 'thon thingie

Sat, 25 Feb 2006 16:48:40 GMT

Bleh. I've been in such a weird mood lately. I have no desire to do anything, or be active on LJ at all. And I'm all bitter and grouchy. And I have two fics that I have to at least start thinking about writing because they're due in not too long here. Plus cadence_k is evil and gave me a plot bunny she came up with and said I should write, and now I have this urge to write it. (Short version: Lilah is hiding in the lobby at the Hyperion when they do the spell during Spin the Bottle and goes Wonder Years like everyone else.)

And yet, I have no burning desire to write. I've been out of the fanfic loop for so long, with a random exception here and there, that I can't get my creative juices flowing. I stare at the monitor and just go, "Erk." So I'm asking for some prompts to get me writing again. No promises on length, may be drabbles, may be ficlets, may be short fics, who knows? Just get my write brain started. Please?

Two characters: (With the exceptions of Willow and Anya, whom I can't write at all.)
'Shippy or friends:
Two objects:
Emotion:

No promises, either, on when I'll post. I'm thinking maybe several tomorrow, depending on how many requests I get. No later than one week from today.

Thanks for your help, flist! You rock. :) (Oh, and feel free to tell your flists they can make requests, I'm not elitist or anything. *giggles and pokes inlovewithnight*

"The V Stands For Vampire" Fred/Spike, G

Fri, 17 Feb 2006 04:11:33 GMT

It's late, but it's here!

Title: "The V Stands For Vampire"
Author: Echo
Email: halo_and_horns@mail.com
Characters/Pairings: Fred/Spike
Classification: Fluff
Rating: G
Word Count: 1,696
Disclaimer: They are the brilliant creation of one Mr. Joss Whedon. I make no profit, so don't get on my case about using them for my own purposes. After all, I'm being nicer to them than Joss ever was.
Summary: Valentine's Day. A girl. A boy. (Sort of.) Love is in the air, or maybe it's just Fred's chemicals.
Notes: Written for inlovewithnight's Valentine's Day Fluffython , for agilebrit. It's unbeta'ed, so forgive me for any mistakes. I only wish this was even half as good as the amazing Faith/Mal story agilebrit wrote for me! Set in S5, right around Smile Time, but the events of that episode don't happen.
Notes 2: The request specifically included a guinea pig and bad poetry, so please, please don't hate me for the really bad poetry I put in here! I'm embarrassed to admit I wrote it, but at least I can say I was trying to make it bad...

It was a glowing white light in an otherwise pitch-black building that made him pause, then head toward the lab. It was probably one of Fred's little science geek employees wandering around like a loser with nothing to do on Valentine's Day, but he wouldn't take the chance that it was the queen bee herself, having forgotten exactly which day it was.

He poked his head in the door and was only mildly surprised to see Fred bent over one of the counter, fussing with glass bottles and beakers and tubes. A guinea pig sat up in a cage next to her, making little chirruping noises that instantly got on Spike's nerves. He ignored the sound of the little rodent and instead noticed how her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, wayward strands falling over her forehead as she muttered to herself incoherently.

"Fred? Pet? You forget there's life beyond the lab or something?"

She jumped in surprise, dropping a beaker full of purple liquid and swearing. Spike's eyebrow raised in amusement. "Spike! You shouldn't be lurking around, scaring me with your, um, lurking." She blew out a breath, the hair in her face lifting for a moment before settling back in her eyes. "I'm trying to figure out why Ross's new compound, which is supposed to be a substitute for guinea pig food, makes Newton sick. I almost have the formula figured out, and I think if I can just substitute-."

"You know I adore you, Fred, but really, I don't care." He grinned at her. "Your bio-babble makes my brain hurt."

The wonderful thing about Fred was that she didn't take the opportunity to slam him. Angel would have said he didn't have a brain to hurt. Gunn would have said anything with more than two syllables would make his brain hurt. Wes would have stiffened up and given him a condescending glare before walking away. Fred, however, blushed prettily and pushed her glasses up on her nose.

"Sorry, Spike," she said sheepishly. "Sometimes I forget that not everyone I talk to in here is Knox."

Spike leaned casually against one of the stainless steel tables. "Speaking of, where's tall, dark and boring? Shouldn't he be whisking you away to a romantic Valentine's Day dinner or some such thing?"

He paused, fondly recalling one of his favorite Valentine's meals. He and Dru had shared a lovely French couple. He always did say French food was best.

Fred frowned, her forehead wrinkling. "I think he would have," she admitted as she started cleaning up the various chemicals and breakable glass pieces. "He gave me a Valentine earlier, and I just had to tell him no. It wouldn't work."

"Pardon me for saying so, but to quote a little bit I once knew, 'duh'." Spike smirked as he folded his arms over his chest. "Poor sod's a big gangly puppy around you."

Fred laughed a little as she closed the door to the last cabinet. She picked up her jacket and slid it on, glancing around to make sure everything was put away. "Maybe not gangly," she offered, grinning impishly. She picked up Newton's cage and set it in his corner, near the window so that he could get sunlight in the morning, and told him goodnight.

Spike fell into step with her as she exited the lab, turning the light off. His excellent night vision allowed him to see through the darkened halls with no problem, but he could feel her stumble next to him without the benefit of light to guide her.

He reached out and slid his arm around her waist, pulling her close. "Careful, pet, wouldn't want you to hurt yourself," he teased.

Fred shivered. His voice was low in her ear and she could feel the hair on the back of her neck stand up. She fought the urge to press herself closer to his side.

Spike grinned cockily to himself in the dark. He could feel the acceleration of her heartbeat, could hear her quiet intake of breath. He knew he was affecting her, and he wasn't about to release her.

It was a good thing it was too dark for Fred to see the arrogant smirk on his face, though, or he might have had it wiped off of him.

"What about Percy?" he asked conversationally, breaking the silence. "He might not be as goofy about it, but he's as gone over you as Science Boy. Maybe even more so," he added as an afterthought.

Fred laughed and shook her head, the ends of her ponytail swishing against his arm. "Why does everyone always think that?" she asked. "We're just friends."

"Friends don't moon over each other the way he does you," Spike countered. "No, Pet, you'll never convince me he's not composing sonnets to you in his spare time."

Fred giggled. "I've never had anyone write me a sonnet," she mused. "It might be fun."

Spike winced. "I'd offer, but you'd be likely to throw yourself into a Hellmouth after you read it," he said ruefully.

Fred blinked as he opened the front door to Wolfram and Hart and her senses were bombarded with lights and sound and smells coming from all around her. She shook her head to clear it as she looked up at him. "Somehow I can't picture you writing poetry," she said, her voice skeptical.

He paused for a moment, thinking, then grimaced as he opened his mouth. "Her beauty most glorious/Her skin like fresh cream and honey/The sight of her lifts my soul/My days are once again sunny." He stopped, shuddering at the thought of the poem he'd once tried to write for a woman, one before Cecily. His poetry had gotten increasingly worse. "That's enough. If I say any more, you'll understand where I got the nickname 'Spike'."

Her eyes lit up. "Ooh, I want to know that story!" she said enthusiastically.

Spike groaned. "And there I go openin' up a can of worms that should have stayed close," he muttered.

Fred smiled affectionately as she wrapped her arm around his. "It's okay, you can keep your secret," she teased. "I'll still like you."

He wiggled his eyebrows at her. "Yeah, but just how much do you like me, that's the real question," he leered.

She flushed, turning her head away. She did like him, a little too much, and that was the problem. It was fine to be friendly and talk to each other, but she didn't like it when he flirted with her. It just made her disappointed because she knew he loved Buffy, and it wouldn't do any good to flirt back.

Spike frowned as she pulled away from him. "What's the matter, Fred?" he asked. "Did I say something wrong?"

She shook her head, smiling wistfully. "No, Spike, you didn't say anything wrong." She stared at her shoes as they walked, not feeling up to conversation anymore.

He stopped in the middle of the street and grabbed her by the shoulders, jerking her out of her thoughts. "What's with the gloomy routine?" he demanded to know.

"Nothing!" she protested, and he scowled.

"Don't go telling me 'nothing'," he insisted. He put a finger under her chin and tilted it up, forcing her to look him in the eyes. "You were all bright and bubbly and Fred-like not two minutes ago, and now you won't talk." He studied her before a thought came to him. "Is it that it's Valentine's Day and you're stuck with me?"

She shook her head, her hair coming loose from the ponytail holder. It fell around her shoulders as she looked up at him. "That's not it at all," she promised. Her voice faltered. "I just wish I could be with someone who wanted to be with me."

Spike stared at her, amazed. "Love, do you have any idea what you're saying? Who wouldn't want to be with you?" He reached up and slid her glasses off, smiling fondly at her. "You're bloody gorgeous, and you're smart, and funny, and one of the most amazing women I've had the good fortune to meet," he said sincerely.

Fred's eyes sparkled at the compliments. "Why thank you, kind sir," she giggled, picking up the sides of her coat and bending at the knees in an imitation of a curtsy.

Spike looked at her speculatively. "So let me ask you something, Fred. If Percy and Science Boy aren't in the running for your heart, who is?"

Fred laughed ruefully. "No one, I'm afraid," she admitted.

He picked her hand up and brought it to his lips, keeping his eyes on hers. "Then would it be alright with you if I threw my hat into the ring?"

Fred's heart thudded against her chest at his words. "You don't seriously mean you want me, do you?" she asked, stupefied.

Spike slid his arms around her, pulling her close, and where Fred swore her heart had stopped a moment ago, now it was pounding inside her like a stampede of horses. "I most certainly do mean it," he returned. "What do you say, Fred? Think you could give a vampire with a soul-and a personality-a chance?"

Fred couldn't form a response to save her life, so Spike took advantage of her wordless state and brought his lips to hers. Fred melted into him as he kissed the breath out of her, not having to worry about it himself. When he lifted his head, he grinned down at her arrogantly. "I thought that's what you might say."

She pulled away from him and slapped at his chest, laughing. "You're terrible."

He chuckled as he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her against him again, this time purposely holding her close and not letting her move away from him. "That I am, love." He suddenly burst out laughing, and she looked up at him curiously.

"What's the joke?"

Spike grinned wickedly. "I just imagined the look on Angel's face when he finds out." He squeezed her waist. "What do you say, Fred? It's Valentine's Day, and you deserve a treat." He winked. "Feel like dinner and a show?"

Fic: "Corrective Actions" NC-17, Faith/Wes/Gunn

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 07:33:29 GMT

Title: "Corrective Actions"
Author: Echo
Email: halo_and_horns@mail.com
Characters/Pairings: Faith/Gunn, Faith/Wes, Wes/Gunn, Faith/Wes/Gunn
Classification: PWP
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 5,059
Disclaimer: They are the brilliant creation of one Mr. Joss Whedon. I make no profit, so don't get on my case about using them for my own purposes. After all, I'm being nicer to them than Joss ever was.
Summary: He liked what he saw, and he wanted in. He just didn't know it.
Notes: Written for winter_of_wes. This is AU S5 where they didn't go to Wolfram and Hart. It's completely plotless flufftastic porn. No apologies. ;)
Notes 2: Thank you SO SO SO much! to my fantastic beta readers, cadence_k and viciouswishes. They made this fic so much better than what I started with.
Notes 3: The header for this is going to be a little late, but will be posted eventually. Sorry you don't get the pretty yummies right away!

"Hello, Angel."

Angel half-smiled as he settled a hip against Wes's desk. "Anyone ever tell you you're starting to get vampire hearing?"

Wes looked up, raising one eyebrow. "I don't need vampire hearing to know you're here, Angel," he said with a smirk. "You have a looming presence. And you sulk."

Angel was indignant. "I do not sulk!"

Wes smiled benevolently. "I do believe you're sulking."

Angel frowned and stood up, crossing his arms. "I just came to tell you Faith's back."

Wes showed no reaction, concentrating instead at the papers strewn across his desk. "Did she complete her mission?"

Angel tossed a long string of multi-colored jewel-like stones on the desk. "Said the Sprinelli demon gave them up after she hit him, like, twice." Angel snorted. "I could've told her that. Sprinelli demons are weak."

"Well, yes, to a vampire they would be," Wes agreed, standing up. He gave one last cursory glance at his research before moving away from his desk. "And apparently to Faith, as well. Of course, Faith is a rather terrifying opponent, and I imagine the Sprinelli demon knew better than to hold out."

Angel studied the string of stones. "So what do these things do that we had to send Faith after them?"

Wes picked up the string, holding them so they glittered in the light while he examined them. "The Yenoba Stones are a sort of talisman for the Urasuku demon tribe. They use them to reanimate their dead and guide them to destruct whole villages."

"Stupid talismans."

Wes smiled slightly. "Every stone on the string represents the soul of a deceased member of the tribe. The stone takes on the essence of the tribe's elders and is funneled, if you will, into the body, acting as a soul."

"No wonder we sent Faith after it."

Wes nodded. "The last thing we need to worry about is a rampaging Urasuku tribe." He pulled open a drawer and dropped the stones inside. "Maybe I should go see Faith, tell her thank you."

Angel nodded. "Might be a good idea, or she'll start complaining about how we always send her on the crappy assignments."

Wes shrugged. "To be fair, I'm the one who sends her on the assignments. You just ask her to go fight something with you."

Angel grinned. "No wonder she likes me better than you," he commented as he followed Wes. "I'm the cool boss."

Wes glanced back at Angel. "What are you going to do now?"

Angel shrugged. "I figured I'd go look for those Halisant demons supposedly nesting downtown. Maybe we can figure out why they're in town."

Wes nodded. "Makes sense. Just don't disturb them until we can all be there for backup."

Angel grinned. "Who, me?" he said with a chuckle, heading into the basement.

Wes waited until long after he knew Angel would be gone before heading upstairs. He refused to acknowledge the thumping of his heart as he approached Faith's room.

Even though he had been the one to send Faith on the mission to retrieve the Yenoba Stones, he'd been unhappy that she was gone. They continued to keep their relationship, for lack of a better word, secret, but he was ready to change that. Wes had decided he'd speak to Faith again about making their tryst a little more public. After all, they'd been sleeping together for more than three months. That was a lifetime, by Faith's standards. Being in such close proximity, it was likely that the others would find out. He'd rather they be upfront about it instead of slinking around and getting caught like children doing something naughty.

He'd reached Faith's room by the time his musings came to an end, and he wanted to surprise her, so he opened the door without knocking. He let it swing slowly open, a smile on his face as he prepared to greet her.

The words died on his lips as he watched her pale, silken body slide up on down on Gunn's dark and glistening cock.

Wes's stunned gaze took in Faith's dark red mouth, lips parted slightly as she panted, her long brown hair curling riotously over her shoulders as she threw her head back. He watched as her fingernails bit into Gunn's shoulders, her fingers gripping him tight so she could hold on while she raised her hips and then plunged them back down.

His eyes locked in on the sight of Gunn's dark cock disappearing into her milk-white skin, straining upward, thick and pulsing as Gunn thrust into her repeatedly.

Wes felt his own cock hardening as he watched Gunn flip Faith over, lifting one leg until her ankle was curled around his neck, and pound into her. Gunn's face was set as he drove forward, rocking the bed so hard that her headboard smacked the wall. She cried out, her little gasps and moans and whimpers so familiar to Wes that he ached, wanting to be the one with his cock buried inside her warm, wet pussy.

The devastation mingled with lust as he watched his best friend fuck the hell out of the woman he wanted. It brought on a painful feeling of déjà vu, though at least he'd been spared the sight of Gunn and Fred having sex.

Though he wasn't sure he would have been happier not seeing Gunn and Faith together. They were beautiful and outrageously sexual, and Wes enjoyed watching them almost as much as he enjoyed being in Gunn's position.

Then Gunn picked up speed, pistoning into Faith so hard that her gasps were torn from her throat, her breathing choppy, and Wes's throat was so dry he couldn't even swallow. His heart beat erratically until Gunn finally pulled out, his cock erupting, spilling his come onto Faith's stomach.

Wes's cock was so painfully hard by that point that he couldn't take it. He turned, not wanting to see anymore, and walked away.

*****

Wes was sitting on his couch, staring at his blank television screen, when Faith let herself into his apartment. She paused inside the door, watching him refuse to look at her.

"What the hell are you doing here, Wes?"

Wes finally turned to look at her, and smirked. "I live here, Faith. I think the better question is, what are you doing here?"

Faith tossed her keys on the counter and shrugged her jacket off, throwing it on the floor beside the couch before plopping down next to him. "I thought I'd let you come home to find me waiting in bed for you," she said, her voice silky and sexy. "I didn't count on you coming home early in the day. I figured you'd be out dragging information on the newest evil from your sources or doing some other detective shit."

Wes leveled his gaze on her. "And what were you doing today, Faith?" he asked pointedly.

She gave him a funny look. "I just got back from that weird-ass job you sent me out on. Those stone things are wicked cool, though. Almost didn't want to hand 'em over to Angel. I thought about hanging 'em in my window or something, turn the whole string into a suncatcher or whatever."

Wes sat back on the couch. "So you just got back?"

Faith stood up, hands on hips. "What the fuck is your deal, Wes? You're acting like I'm some five-year-old you have to keep tabs on."

"I just don't like it when I'm lied to," he said evenly, and Faith wrinkled her nose.

"Yeah, 'cause I get off on lying to you," she snorted.

"Perhaps not, but I know what you do get off on," Wes replied, his voice dangerously low.

Faith's eyes gleamed as she rolled to one hip, throwing her leg over his thighs and pulling herself into position over top of him. "You can bet I've been wanting some of that the past couple days," she murmured, walking her fingers up his chest, trailing her fingertips over the skin at the top of his collar. She rocked her hips against him, grinning devilishly when she felt him harden against her.

Wes wanted to deny her, wanted to punish her for the fact that he couldn't stand that he'd watched his best friend fuck her senseless less than an hour ago. He wanted to tell her if she needed her kicks, she could very well go back to Gunn. He wanted to tell her he was done being her toy.

Instead, Wes buried his hands in Faith's thick hair and yanked her forward, crushing his lips against hers. She groaned into his mouth as his tongue forced itself between her lips, meeting hers and tangling around it.

Their tongues danced, meeting and withdrawing, sliding against each other and crashing into the roofs of their mouths. It was a brutal assault that heated the blood.

Breaking away from the kiss, Faith jumped up and immediately shimmied her way out of her jeans. Wes wasn't the least bit surprised to see that she wasn't wearing underwear. She tore off her tank top and unhooked her bra, sending them both to the floor. He crossed his hands behind his head and leaned back as she attacked his zipper, lifting his hips long enough for her to pull his jeans down to his ankles. She didn't even bother taking them all the way off.

When Faith had free access to Wes's cock, she hit her knees. Wes couldn't help but moan as the heat of her mouth enveloped his length, taking him in deep and then letting him slide back out. His breath hissed out through his teeth as she worked her lips over his shaft, her tongue wrapping around him and licking him all over before she caressed the head of his cock.

He felt like he couldn't breathe as her fist pumped him repeatedly, sliding up and down in time with her mouth. She gripped him a little tighter, making the pleasure painful and enough to drive him out of his mind.

Faith was a master at sensing when he was close to the edge, and as soon as she felt like he was going to come, she backed off.

Wes groaned at the loss of sensation, but she didn't leave him disappointed for long. She settled back into his lap, rubbing her pussy against his cock without letting him inside her. When he couldn't stand it anymore, she rose up, moved until she was positioned right over his cock, and then thrust down forcefully.

"Fuck, Wes," Faith panted harshly. She gripped his shoulders as she rode him, her breasts bouncing against his chest. "You always feel so damn good inside me."

"Do I feel as good as Gunn?" The question was out of Wes's mouth before he could stop it, and he swore at himself. He hated that he sounded jealous.

Faith's hips slowed, and she peered into his eyes. "What?"

Her attempt at pretending confusion pissed him off more than he could say, and he pushed her off of him. "Don't bother acting like you don't know what I'm talking about. What I want to know is how long you've been fucking him. Was today the first time? A welcome home kind of thing? Or have you been going between us the entire time?"

"Jesus, Wes! You always think the worst about people?"

He stood up, glaring down at her. "Don't you?"

Faith shrugged, her hair spilling over her shoulders. "Usually, yeah. Every once in a while someone surprises me."

Wes exhaled on a long breath. "You surprised me today, Faith. We never made a commitment to each other, but I never would have dreamed I'd see you and Gunn together."

Faith watched him, her lips curving up in a slow grin. "What makes you madder, Wes? That I fucked him or that you didn't?"

Wes's eyes went wide. "You really think I want Gunn?"

Faith laughed. "Why not, Wes? He's hot as hell and has a gorgeous cock. Feels really damn good, too," she said suggestively. She grabbed Wes's hand and pulled him back down to the couch, spreading her legs so that he could easily get between them. "If you know we fucked today, you had to have seen it. So you must have seen his cock. You can't tell me it didn't look good."

Wes groaned as he drove himself into her, trying not to think about Gunn in that way. He'd merely been upset that he had to see Faith riding another man. He hadn't been jealous that she was getting what he hadn't. He told himself that forcefully as he pounded into Faith, driving himself into her over and over until the feel of her sent him crashing over the edge into oblivion.

When his vision cleared he saw her grinning up at him knowingly, and he couldn't tell her she was wrong.

*****

It was days later, and Wes still couldn't stop thinking about Faith, and Gunn, and Faith and Gunn together. He'd finally acknowledged that he was jealous, but he wasn't sure what, or who, he was jealous of.

As if thoughts could make him appear, Gunn stuck his head inside the office door. "Hey, Wes. Angel around?"

Wes didn't glance up. "No. He's out," he said, his voice clipped and cool.

Gunn paused, then came all the way in the office, shutting the door behind him. "What's up, English? You've had a bug up your ass ever since yesterday. You got something goin' on I don't know about?"

Wes let out a short laugh. "No. Everything I have going on, you certainly know about."

Gunn sat down in the chair on the opposite side of Wes's desk, studying him. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Wes threw down his pen, finally lifting his gaze to meet Gunn's. "It really isn't any of your concern, Charles," he said, nearly biting the words out.

Gunn scowled. "Listen, I'm trying to be your friend. But if you're gonna be an ass about everything I say, you can be your own damn friend. I ain't gotta take this shit from you."

Wes sneered. "Some friend you've been."

Gunn came up out of the chair, leaning over the desk with his palms gripping the edge, bracing his body. He got into Wes's face and glared. "You got a problem with me, you better say something. 'Cause as far as I'm concerned, we've been cool ever since I forgave you for messing with Fred."

Wes studied him. "Is that what this was? Getting back at me for kissing Fred?"

Gunn shook his head. "Man, what are you talking about? What did I do to 'get back at you'?"

"Fucking Faith," Wes said coldly, and Gunn fell back into his chair in astonishment.

"How'd you know about me and Faith?"

"I saw you together, yesterday. After Faith returned home from retrieving the Yenoba Stones."

Gunn groaned. "Damn. You saw us?" Wes nodded. "That sucks, man."

"That's all you have to say?"

"What else am I supposed to say?"

"You could tell me you're sorry for having sex with her," Wes suggested, his tone bitter.

Gunn laughed. "Now why would I be sorry for that? That woman is wild in bed, Wes. I never had a woman ride me as hard as Faith did. I thought my dick was going to explode, she had me so hard."

Wes narrowed his eyes. "I take it Faith didn't happen to mention me?"

Gunn snorted. "Why the hell would she-." He stopped short as understanding dawned on him. "Oh, shit. Wes, man, I'm sorry. I didn't know she was your girl."

Wes was silent for a moment. "She's not, Gunn."

Gunn winced. "And that's the whole problem, right there. You want her to be."

Wes shrugged. "Apparently she prefers you to me."

Gunn shook his head. "Naw, that ain't it. Faith's just one of those women who can't get enough dick in her pussy. She probably cares about you a lot; she just wanted to get something she can't get every day. Not that I wouldn't give it to her as often as she asked," he added with a laugh. "I could fuck her 'til the girl couldn't walk and still want her again." He broke off. "Damn, Wes. I'm sorry. I just can't get my head wrapped around the fact that you and her are seeing each other."

"That would be the polite term for it," Wes said with another smirk. "To be blunt, she and I aren't doing much more than you two are."

Gunn nodded. "I can see why you want her all to yourself. If you know how hot her pussy is, you wouldn't want anyone else tapping that ass."

Wes raised one eyebrow. "Sounds like you enjoyed it," he said dryly.

Gunn chuckled. "That would be putting it mildly. She made me come harder than I have in a long time. I wanted to keep pounding her, but she kicked me out. Said she had to go somewhere."

Wes surprised himself by smiling at Gunn. "That would be my apartment."

Gunn widened his eyes. "No shit? She went from me to you. That girl must have an eternal case of wet pussy. She just can't get enough."

Wes tried to pretend that Gunn's words were having no effect on him, but he couldn't keep his cock from hardening at the thought of Gunn with Faith. Even worse, ever since Faith had taunted him it was thoughts of Gunn with Wes himself that kept him hard.

Gunn looked quizzically at Wes as his friend went silent, and understanding of a new kind hit him when he saw the erection tenting the other man's pants. He grinned slowly. "You're enjoying this, aren't you, Wes?" he asked. "Talking about your girl, talking about her being with me and all that."

Wes kept his gaze on Gunn. "Maybe I am."

Gunn got up and walked around the desk, studying Wes. "What else do you think you'd enjoy?"

"What do you mean?"

Gunn kept his eyes on Wes's as he slowly went to his knees. "I mean…"

Wes swallowed hard. "I think I might enjoy that." He watched incredulously as Gunn went for his zipper. "You'll pardon me for my confusion, but what brought this on?"

Gunn hesitated for a moment. "There was this guy, when I was younger," he said finally. "Rashaad and I lived on the same street. He was a couple years older than me, and he fought hard to get into this gang. A couple years later, he brought me in. He took care of me when the other guys would've messed with me. I damn near worshipped that guy."

Wes was silent as Gunn told his story.

"I don't know when my hero worship turned into something else, but Rashaad picked up on it. We were tight for a couple years, then Rashaad got a bullet in his heart. Not too long after, I met up with the crew I was with when you and Angel first met me."

Wes didn't know what to say. "So you've had a relationship with another man?"

"Not just another man," Gunn clarified. "A good man. The only man I've ever met who was compelling enough to make me swing that way." He paused. "Until you. You remind me a lot of Rashaad. You're a good man, Wes."

Wes swallowed again. "So are you, Charles." His voice and eyes were soft as he looked down at his friend. It seemed right. It felt, after Wes had admitted it to himself, like something that had been a long time coming.

Wes's eyes closed as Gunn's mouth descended, taking his cock in, surrounding it in wet warmth. He briefly compared it to having Faith go down on him, but all thought flew from his mind when Gunn's hand wrapped around his cock and stroked firmly. Wes quickly learned that there was nothing like getting a blow job from another man. After all, talented as Faith was, she didn't have first-hand knowledge of the equipment.

Gunn tugged Wes to his feet, and Wes pushed his slacks down so Gunn had easier access. Wes closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing slow and steady. His breath caught in his chest when he felt Gunn press a finger to his ass. His lips parted as he got used to the sensation of being invaded, and it felt so good that he arched his hips back, trying to take it in deeper.

Gunn pulled away, letting Wes's cock escape from his mouth. He chuckled as he stood up. "Damn, you really do want this."

Wes smiled unrepentantly. "I see no reason to deny either of us what we've apparently both wanted for some time."

Gunn groaned at Wes's admission, his own cock getting hard against his stomach. "I hate to stop, but we need lube. You're gonna scream like a girl if you're dry."

Wes grinned wickedly. "Then it's a good thing Faith likes having sex on my desk." He pulled open a desk drawer and withdrew a small bottle of lubrication.

Gunn laughed. "You were a Boy Scout in a previous life, weren't you?"

Wes's smile faltered. "No. I was a Watcher."

"You still are." Gunn paused. "It's too bad you can't watch this." He poured some lube in his hand and coated his cock with it, then spread some on Wes's ass. Wes leaned forward, bracing himself against the desk, waiting in anticipation. Gunn positioned the head of his cock at the tight ring of muscles and pushed forward slowly.

Wes grimaced as he felt the pressure of penetration. It wasn't pleasant at first, and the burning pain almost made him beg Gunn to stop. Instead, he gritted his teeth and tried to keep from tensing up.

"Relax, English. It'll feel better here in a minute," Gunn promised.

Soon, the pain faded into pleasure as Gunn's cock slid forward a little, then back, slowly at first so that Wes could get used to it. In moments the sensations began to increase, and Wes felt his cock pulsing as Gunn's cock plunged into him. Gone was the gentleness and in its place was forceful thrusting. Wes bit his lip to keep from crying out as unimaginable pleasure coursed through him.

Gunn reached his hand around Wes's stomach and closed his fingers around his cock. He stroked rhythmically, in time with each thrust. Wes moaned harshly as he felt himself hurtling into his orgasm. His cock spurted come all over his desk as Gunn picked up his pace.

Wes drifted back down to earth as Gunn buried his cock in Wes's ass one last time, his own cock emptying with his release.

Gunn took a deep breath as he pulled out slowly, and Wes surveyed the mess on his desk. "I think I'll need to redo those notes," he observed, and Gunn chuckled.

"Was it worth it?"

"Most definitely," Wes replied with a faint smile. "Most definitely."

*****

"Hey, babe," Faith said cheerily as she slammed Wes's front door shut.

Wes glanced up as Faith threw her stuff on the floor. "Déjà vu," he said dryly.

Faith either didn't hear him or chose to ignore him. She grabbed his hand and pulled him up. "C'mon."

Wes laughed as she tugged him to the bedroom. "Anxious, are we?"

"Hell yeah." She pushed him on the bed and began stripping. "I haven't gotten laid in forever."

"You got laid last night," he pointed out. "Twice, as I recall." Three times, really, but I'll pretend I don't know she was with Gunn before she came over here.

"Yeah? Like I said, forever." She climbed on top of the bed and straddled him, rocking her hips against his, moaning a little when Wes raised his hands to her breasts. He tweaked her nipples roughly and she arched forward.

"Damn, Wes, you got my pussy dripping," Faith said breathlessly. "I love it when you fuck me."

"Am I better than Gunn?" Wes teased, no longer envious that she sought out his friend. After having experienced it himself, he knew what drew her in.

"Nope," she retorted. "But he's not better than you. You're both fucking fantastic in the sack."

Wes grabbed her hips, his fingers biting into her soft flesh, as he arched up and ground his cock against her pussy. She cried out, grabbing onto the headboard to hold herself upright.

"So are you just going to tease me?" Wes asked impatiently.

Faith smiled devilishly. "I should, but I'm being extra nice. I'm giving you a real treat," she said, her tone sexy and wicked.

In the recesses of his clouded mind, Wes could hear the front door open and close again. He was almost surprised when Gunn walked through the bedroom door.

"Gunn told me about how he bent you over your desk and fucked you senseless," Faith informed Wes, rocking against him again. Her hands came up to her breasts and played with them, squeezing the nipples as she rubbed herself against his cock. "I want to see you fuck him, now. Think you're up to it?"

Gunn glanced down at Wes's cock. "Hell, I'd say he's up for anything," he remarked with a grin, thoroughly enjoying himself. He stood next to the bed and Faith reached out, rubbing his cock through his pants. "Then again, so am I."

"You've still got clothes on," Wes reminded him, his tone disapproving, and Gunn quickly whipped off his shirt and shucked his pants.

Faith and Wes both gazed appreciatively at Gunn's gorgeous chest. "Jesus, you're hot," Faith groaned. Wes slid his fingertips over her clit and she wrapped her hand around Gunn's cock.

Gunn took in a quick, harsh breath as Faith roughly stroked his cock. "Girl, you better bend over quick. I'm thinking I want to see you sandwiched."

Faith rose up, positioning Wes's cock at her pussy before driving herself down sharply. She leaned forward, her ass exposed. "Hurry up," she begged Gunn, and he grabbed the lube and a condom sitting on Wes's dresser.

After he'd put the condom on and covered himself in the lube, he pulled Faith's ass cheeks apart and slid inside her with one sharp thrust. Faith screamed in pain, but Gunn made no apologies and didn’t slow down as he drove into her repeatedly.

"Shit, my ass feels like it's on fire," Faith complained, and Gunn gave her ass a hard smack.

"You know you love it," Gunn said with a wolfish grin.

"Okay, yeah, but damn, it still hurts!" Faith retorted.

"Could I get a little less complaining and a little more action?" Wes said, arching his hips up and burying his cock deeper in Faith's pussy. She gasped as they both filled her, and she moved as best as she could between them.

A wail erupted from Faith's lips as her orgasm splintered through her like white-hot lightning. She fell between them, her limp body supported by Wes's chest as they both continued to thrust into her.

When Faith could move again she pushed away from Wes, dislodging Gunn. She rolled onto her back, panting. "That was fucking incredible," she said blissfully. "I have got to be the luckiest chick on earth, having two amazing guys like you at my beck and call," she added with a laugh.

Wes propped himself up on an elbow, glancing at Gunn. "And yet both of us are as yet unsatisfied," he pointed out.

"Yeah," Gunn agreed. "You got yours, are we going to get ours?"

Faith smirked. "Jeez, you guys are impatient." She settled back against the pillows, spreading her legs so that the men had an appetizing view of her glistening pussy. "I told you I wanted to see you fuck Gunn," she reminded Wes. "So get to it."

Gunn and Wes watched each other, their hearts beating faster, knowing now what awaited them. "Think I should give her another pounding?" Gunn asked Wes, pretending to think it over with some degree of seriousness.

Wes considered. "Well, she is the one responsible for this evening's gathering," he pointed out. "Maybe she deserves a reward."

"Sounds good to me," Gunn replied. He removed the condom and tossed it in the wastebasket, then slipped between Faith's legs and slid the head of his cock into her waiting pussy.

Faith closed her eyes and arched her head back. "Enough of this teasing shit. I want you in me," she demanded, lifting her hips so that Gunn's cock went deeper into her.

Neither of them was watching Wes slick the lube over his own cock, so he moved behind Gunn and guided his cock to Gunn's ass. He waited until Gunn drove forward, burying his cock in Faith, before Wes pushed forward.

Wes's breath caught as he felt Gunn's ass close around his cock. The pleasure was intense as he thrust forward gently, then pulled back, getting used to the rhythm and waiting for Gunn to tell him to stop.

"Oh, man, Wes," Gunn groaned. "Quit teasing. Just start moving."

Wes gripped Gunn's hips with his fingers as he plunged forward, harder and faster as he felt Gunn pumping into Faith. The rhythm was awkward for a few moments, until they eased into it and there was no sound other than the mixed gasps, pants, moans and groans of the three of them enjoying themselves.

"Oh, God, I'm going to come!" Faith cried out suddenly, and she convulsed under Gunn as she catapulted into one orgasm after another. Wes braced himself, his arms taut, as he continued pistoning into Gunn. He swore he would outlast his friend, and he wanted Gunn to lose himself in Faith while Wes was still inside him.

Wes got his wish when Gunn thrust forward again, hissing, "Oh, fuck," when he erupted inside Faith. Wes finally allowed himself to climax, his arms shaking as his cock emptied into Gunn.

The three collapsed against each other, feverish and sweaty from their exertion. "Holy fucking hell," Faith said. "We didn't try this before, why?"

Gunn and Wes looked at each other, lost as to an answer.

"I can't tell you why we didn't," Wes finally replied, smiling at Gunn. "But it's the last time we'll make that mistake."

Another poll, because I love them

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 18:32:59 GMT

I just got done transferring a bunch of icons from my old jadedcynic journal, because I have been lazy and didn't bring them over before. And I was kind of tired of using the same few Logan/Veronica or quote icons that I've been using over and over. When I was going through my old icons and deciding which ones I wanted for this journal, it made me wonder why people love certain icons. So, poll!

View Poll: Icon love

A strange poll

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 04:10:14 GMT

Okay, a new concept came to my attention today during a discussion at work, and I just have to ask my flist's opinion on it.

View Poll: I am strange, but do not fear me..

The Faith 'thon will go on

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 19:40:46 GMT

Okay, everyone. Since I had ten people say that they would definitely do it, and I imagine I could get at least five more by advertising, I've decided to host the Have a Little Faith (Or a Lot!) Ficathon.

As should be obvious by the title of the 'thon, the goal is to have every fic be primarily about Faith. Fics can be gen, het, slash, G through NC-17, vignettes or epics. It's all up to you.

Crossovers with Firefly are permitted. However, since crossovers are harder to match up, please also include a request that isn't a crossover so that whoever gets your assignment has the option of doing something easier.

The format for this ficathon is Choose Your Assignment. Everyone will post their top three requests (say, First Choice: Faith/Jayne, Second Choice: Faith/Buffy, Third Choice: Faith/Gunn). When the sign-ups close, everyone will email me with their top three choices for assignments.

If you're confused about how you'll be making the choices for assignments, don't worry, I'll be posting when the sign-ups close with some clarification and more instructions. For now, just concentrate on your own requests, and keep an eye out for which requests you'd like to write.

Dates:
Sign-ups close on: Saturday, January 21st.
Request assignments: Sunday, January 22nd-Friday, January 27th
Assignments will be sent: Sunday, January 29th.
Fics will be due: Sunday, March 26th

When you post your request, please include the following:

Name:
Email:
Range of ratings you'd prefer your fic to be:
First Choice:
Up to 4 requests (things you either want included or don't want at all):
Second Choice:
Up to 4 requests (things you either want included or don't want at all)::
Third Choice:
Up to 4 requests (things you either want included or don't want at all)::
Additional Comments:
Can you write back-up?

Example sign up form:
Name: Echo
Email: halo_and_horns @ mail . com
Range of ratings you'd prefer your fic to be: PG-R
First Choice: Faith/Mal
Up to 4 requests (things you either want included or don't want at all): Want-a power struggle, Jayne/Faith flirting and Mal being jealous; Don't want-any mention of Simon/Kaylee, Faith being loving
Second Choice: Faith/Giles
Up to 4 requests (things you either want included or don't want at all): Want-Giles telling Faith she's just as good as Buffy, set during season 3; Don't want-Faith going evil, Willow as a significant character in the story
Third Choice: Faith/Nina
Up to 4 requests (things you either want included or don't want at all): Want-post Not Fade Away, someone stealing something; Don't want-mentions of Angel, Faith/Nina being the only characters in the fic
Additional Comments: Yay! More Faith!
Can you write back-up? No

Minimum word count for a fic is 1,000. Other than that, pretty much anything goes. Any questions? Just email me at halo_and_horns @ mail . com

My favorite girl

Wed, 04 Jan 2006 03:25:03 GMT

View Poll: All about the dirty girl...

ETA: If I get at least 15 people who say they will definitely sign up, I will run the 'thon. So pimp this poll to your friends if you want Faith fics!

"Memories Not Forgotten" Faith/Cordelia, NC-17

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 05:27:36 GMT

Title: "Memories Not Forgotten"
Author: Echo
Email: halo_and_horns@mail.com
Characters/Pairings: Faith, Connor, references to Connor/Cordelia, explicit Faith/Cordelia
Classification: PWP
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1881
Disclaimer: They are the brilliant creation of one Mr. Joss Whedon. I make no profit, so don't get on my case about using them for my own purposes. After all, I'm being nicer to them than Joss ever was.
Summary: Faith has good memories. She shares them with Connor.
Warning: Has brief mentions of het/male sexuality.
Notes: Written for tinpanalley in femslash_santa. Hope you like it, love!

"Y'know, moping and brooding may be your dad's style, but he's got the hots to back it up. The way you do it, it's not going to get you the girl."

Connor jerked at the voice that broke through his solitude, glaring at the woman who'd strolled into his room as if it were hers. "What are you talking about?" he sneered.

Faith smirked as she straddled the crate sitting at the end of the bed. "Queen C. Daddy's got her, you want her."

Connor's face darkened. He drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, laying his cheek on one, his face turned away from her. "I don't want to talk about it," he said, his voice muffled.

Faith stood up. "Okay," she said with a shrug, as if it didn't matter to her one way or the other. "I was just going to give you some advice, but whatever. You want to keep trying and failing with your sullen boy attitude, that's your deal. I just thought I might help you get laid sometime this century."

Connor raised his head, eyeing her skeptically. She waited in the silence, matching his stare evenly. Finally, he broke.

"What do you know about it?"

Faith sat back down, her gaze still appraising him. "What do I know about what, kid? The situation? Your dad's way with the ladies? Or how to get Cordelia to bend over and grab her ankles?"

Connor's jaw dropped open in astonishment. "You… She doesn't… Cordelia wouldn't…" he spluttered, unable to form a coherent thought.

Faith snickered. "I know, I have a way with words, right? You wouldn't think Miss I'm-So-Much-Better-Than-Everybody would have a dirty side like that. She looks like she's a straight vanilla fuck. But trust me, short shit, I have plenty of fond memories of Cordelia Chase sprawled facedown over a table in the library, naked as a Playboy centerfold, thighs spread wide and dripping wet pussy bared to the world."

Connor gaped, his mouth working but no sound coming out. Faith's eyebrow rose when she glanced at his crotch. "Damn, kid. You pop a boner like that this quick, you aren't even going to last through story-telling hour without blowing your load."

He flushed scarlet and squirmed uncomfortably, trying to escape her laughing eyes. "So you and Cordelia," he said, trying to distract her. He couldn't keep the jealousy out of his voice, and Faith zeroed in on it immediately.

"Yeah, me and the queen," she affirmed. "You play your cards right, you'll get her, too."

Connor took a deep breath and leaned forward, his eyes locking onto Faith's. They gleamed bright with interest, lust, and urgency. "Tell me," he asked. "Tell me what happened, how you got her, how I can get her."

Faith shrugged. "It's simple. Cordelia respects authority and power. Her entire life she's been trying to cozy up to the people who have it so that she can get it herself."

Connor frowned, his eyebrows drawing together. "I don't get it."

Faith rolled her eyes. "Duh, small fry. You show her power, act like you can do whatever the fuck you want to her, and she'll not only like it, she'll beg you for it. The first time she went down on me, I basically told her to."

Connor perked up. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. She and I were sitting in the library, waiting for B and her crew. They were off doing their own thing, but Cordy and I didn't know that. We thought we were showing up for duty, and we were sitting there, not doing shit. I don't know, I made some smart-ass comment or something, and Cordelia started in on her bitchy little sniping. Finally I just snapped. I was like, 'Ya know what? Your mouth is really starting to piss me off, so you got two options. One, you can bury it in my pussy and make me come, or you can glue your lips together and quit making noise.' She was so fucking shocked, she really did shut up for almost a whole minute."

"What did she do?" Connor asked eagerly.

Faith's eyes twinkled. "She went into a royal shrieking fit. Freaked right the fuck out. It was hilarious. After she ranted at me for like twenty or thirty seconds, I just grabbed her hair and kissed the hell out of her. She let me, too. She didn't kiss back at first, but when I slid my hands under her shirt and unhooked her bra, she kinda got into it. She's a great kisser when she tries, by the way. Something to look forward to."

Connor's eyes were closed as he imagined the scene, and Faith watched him for a moment. "Y'know, I don't care if you jack off if you need to. Just as long as you don't get come on me."

His eyes popped open, and he flushed. "I'm good," he said, his voice a little strained. "Keep going."

"So we were kissing, and I was starting to get a little wet. I'd been doing a little fantasizing about Queen C for a while, but I didn't figure she'd even consider fucking around with me. But here she was, kissing me and letting me play with her tits, so I pressed the advantage. I figured the worst she could do was stop. So I unbuttoned her blouse and pushed it off, and damn, all I could think was how gorgeous her breasts were. I knew they'd taste as good as they looked, so I started sucking on one of her nipples. She made these breathy little moaning sounds, and I almost started dripping, I was so hot for her."

Faith was lost in the memories. She'd pretty much forgotten that Connor was there, and she was reliving every sensation she'd experienced all those years ago.

"I was licking her nipples and tugging on them with my teeth, and she had her hands in my hair, pulling me against her breasts. My hands had to have something to do, so I grabbed her ass and started massaging it through her skirt. She was getting squirmy, and I knew she wanted me, too. So I stood up and got behind her, bending her over the table so that her naked breasts were pushing into the wood. Her skirt was so short, when she bent over the table it rode up so that I could see the little lace thong she was wearing."

Faith had unconsciously unzipped her jeans and slipped her hand inside them, her fingers seeking out her clit and rubbing it rhythmically. She groaned a little as she continued with her recollections.

"I got on my knees and spread her thighs with my hands, and I could smell her. She was dripping wet, her panties were soaked, and she was arching her hips back, trying to get closer to me. So I pulled her thong down and worked two of my fingers into her pussy, fucking her with them. She kept crying out and rocking her body against me, trying to get my fingers in deeper, and I was playing with her clit. I grabbed her thighs and pulled her pussy to my face, and I started licking her as fast as I could. I buried my tongue in her pussy and sucked on her clit, and she thrust her hips against me, fucking my tongue. She was gasping and crying out and then she let out this really long, drawn-out wail, and she came against my face. God, she tasted so fucking good."

Faith's breathing was erratic as she slid her fingers inside her own pussy, pumping them in and out while she remembered the look on Cordelia's face when she came.

"It was so incredible. Cordelia just kind of collapsed against the table, and she stared at me with this wide-eyed, dazed look. I was like, 'That was fun, but now I want you to eat me out.' She started to protest, but I got a little rough with her. I grabbed her and pulled her up, and told her if she wanted to come like that again, she was going to have to return the favor. I like eating pussy, but I'll be damned if I'm going to do all the giving and none of the getting. So I stripped off my leather pants and sat on the edge of the table, and I spread my legs wide so she could have better access to my pussy."

Faith was getting close to the edge of orgasm, so she slowed the rapid pace of her fingers down. She ran her fingertips over her pussy lazily, trying to ward off her climax until she was ready.

"Cordelia gave me this look like she wasn't sure what to do, so I told her to get on her knees. She did, and her tits were heaving and they were gorgeous and I almost came just watching them. But then she lowered her face to my pussy, and holy shit. She might not have eaten pussy before, but she was a total natural. She had her fingers inside me, and her thumb was rubbing my clit, and her tongue kept tracing my pussy lips. Then I told her I wanted her to tongue-fuck me, so she pulled her fingers out and dove right in. She was licking and sucking and it felt so fucking good and I was so hot and so wet that I just came. I exploded all over her face and she licked up every last drop."

Faith's voice trailed off as she spread her legs and began working her fingers into her pussy as fast as she could. Her breath hitched and her eyes closed tightly and her moans got louder and louder until she convulsed, her body clenching around her fingers as she came around them.

She opened her eyes and saw that Connor had been mimicking her and had his hand wrapped around his cock, his fingers covered in his own release. Faith let out a breathless chuckle.

"Queen C and I fucked like bunnies for the rest of her senior year, up until I teamed up with the Mayor and wasn't allowed in the Scooby Gang anymore. Some of the best memories I have in my life are of her eating me out like a pro, or me using this strap-on dildo I bought just for her, bending her over the library table and fucking the shit out of her. And every time, I totally dominated her. She completely got off on me making her do whatever I wanted her to."

Faith stood up, zipping her jeans and giving Connor a half-grin. "Good luck, kid. I know from experience that Cordelia Chase is a hell of a good fuck. Maybe you'll get to find that out first-hand."

"Thanks, Faith," Connor managed as he stood up, grabbing a towel and cleaning himself off. "I'll try your advice."

"See ya, Con," she said, leaving his room and shutting the door behind her. She paused for only a moment before heading to another room.

She swung the door open without knocking and smiled predatorily. "Hey, Cordy." Her eyes gleamed with a wicked light. "Get on your knees."

"Special" Cordelia/Dawn, G

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 05:20:38 GMT

For the wonderful, beautiful, incredible tinpanalley, I have a little fluffy Cordelia/Dawn ficlet. I'm sorry I didn't post this on Christmas, but I was having computer issues. *kicks laptop*

Title: "Special"
Author: Echo
Email: halo_and_horns@mail.com
Characters/Pairings: Cordelia/Dawn
Classification: Fluff
Rating: G
Word Count: 709
Disclaimer: They are the brilliant creation of one Mr. Joss Whedon. I make no profit, so don't get on my case about using them for my own purposes. After all, I'm being nicer to them than Joss ever was.
Summary: Dawn finds out that not everyone likes Buffy best.
Notes: Written for tinpanalley in femslash_santa. Hope you like it, love!

"I hate everyone."

Cordelia glanced up in irritation when Dawn stalked into the room and flopped into a chair at the kitchen table. She ignored the teen for several minutes, until the overwhelming presence of Dawn's sulking became too much for her to bear.

"Why do you hate everyone?" she finally asked in exasperation. She didn't really care, she assured herself. She just couldn't take any more of the silent rage.

"Because they all hate me," Dawn explained as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "God, overdramatic much?" she asked sarcastically. "I know you're like thirteen or whatever, but it isn't all about you."

Dawn smirked at Cordelia. "Right, 'cause it's all about you," she snapped.

Cordelia shrugged. "I can't help it if everyone thinks I'm perfect."

Dawn snorted and crossed her arms over her chest. "It's not, you know," she said angrily. "It's not about you or about me. It's all about her," she spat, and Cordelia was surprised at the venom in the younger girl's voice. "It's all about Buffy. Stupid, perfect, precious Buffy. Mom's first-born angel."

Cordelia suddenly felt a tiny bit of empathy for Buffy's little sister. She would never admit it to anyone, but she'd felt like that a number of times since she'd been indoctrinated into Buffy's little club of freaks. Nobody even knew she was alive half the time. Xander would always make out with her, but then when they were done it was once again "Buffy" this and "Buffy" that. It was enough to piss a girl off sometimes.

So she kept her mouth shut instead of telling the little brat to take her whining fit someplace that was of the else.

"Must be tough," she said instead, for lack of anything better to say.

"It's hard to not be the special one," Dawn said suddenly, her voice deflated and defeated. Cordelia looked up, risking eye contact, and instantly softened. The pain shimmering in Dawn's eyes was heart-breaking, and while Cordelia had never felt she wasn't special, she knew what Dawn was saying.

"You are special," she said softly, leaning over on an impulse and laying her hand on Dawn's. "You're not Buffy, but you're something better than that. You're Dawn."

Dawn perked up instantly, her eyes widening as she gazed at Cordelia with hope. "You mean that?"

Cordelia bit her lip. "You won't tell anyone about this, right?" she asked instead. It was one thing to boost the kid's ego, it was another thing entirely for other people to find out she had a soft spot.

Dawn shook her head vigorously back and forth, her long, light brown tresses flying out. "Unh-uh!" she swore. "I'd never tell anyone."

Cordelia bestowed a rare gentle smile on Dawn. "You're special," she promised. "One day you're going to show Buffy you're every bit as good as she is." And maybe I will too, she thought ruefully.

Dawn beamed. "You're cool," she declared. "You're like the best one of Buffy's friends. Willow's nice and all, but she treats me like a kid. And Xander does too," she added. "You never fuss over me or act like I'm five."

Cordelia tossed her hair back and preened at the compliment. It was coming from a thirteen-year-old, true, but it was still a compliment. And at least someone around here thought she was the best one. Sometimes the rest of the gang made her feel like she was the pity invite, and that stung her pride more than just a little. It was just nice to know that not everyone thought that.

"Okay, Cordy, you ready?"

Cordelia looked up as Xander tumbled down the stairs like a puppy, followed by Buffy and Willow. She rolled her eyes. "Duh, Xander. I've been her for like forever already, waiting on all of you," she said in a superior tone.

"Let's go," Buffy said, cutting in and trying to head off another infamous Cordelia/Xander battle of wits.

Cordelia glanced over at Dawn as Buffy, Willow, and Xander trooped out the front door. She gave the younger girl a quick smile and a little finger wave, then trailed after the others.

She had no idea that Dawn's adoring gaze followed her as she left.

New drabble-y thingies

Sat, 03 Dec 2005 05:52:19 GMT

My responses for the second and third challenges at btvsats_20.

What are you most ashamed of?

Well, this one's a no-brainer. Most ashamed of, I figure that's gotta be slicing and dicing members of the non-demon community. The Boss's first right-hand man, Finch, hell, that one wasn't my fault. It was a mistake, y'know? Slayer reflexes or not, a guy busts out of nowhere in the dark, he's gonna get his ass handed to him.

Didn’t mean I had to keep going Lizzie Borden on other innocent people, though. Forget what I said about there's no such creature as innocent. They might not be pure as snow, sure, but that doesn't mean they did anything that earned them getting hacked the way I did them.

The death and destruction shit kinda leads into the other thing I'm ashamed of. I'd sure as hell never tell B this, but I always blamed myself for turning away the only thing that resembled friendship and an honest attempt at helping me. Her and the rest of those lame-ass Scoobies actually gave a damn about me, once upon a time. I fucked that up, no question.

It makes a girl wonder if she's capable of trusting someone. Some day.

What are you most proud of?

This one's easy, too. I'm proud of taking the high road when the low one was so much easier, and more familiar. I'm proud of turning myself in in L.A. when I could have gotten away with, well, murder. Prison couldn't hold me unless I let it, and I did. Go me.

I'm also really proud of myself for facing my demons, so to speak, and not telling Red to fuck off when she asked me to come back to SunnyD and help out with the latest and greatest Big Bad. I didn't do a whole hell of a lot while I was there, except get some girls killed, but I didn't run away.

Most of all, I'm proud that it was me who saved Angel. That by being selfless, for once, I could help him. He's the only person in my entire life who fought hard enough to reach me and didn't let me get by with my usual bullshit. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be where I am. Being able to return the favor meant more to me than I'll ever be able to tell him, or anyone.

So I guess it all comes down to, I'm proud of myself for being better than I thought I could be.

Talk about your best day ever.

Oh, no question. The day I got Called as a Slayer. It was fucking fantastic because my mom was spouting off at me, like usual. She was screaming about how worthless I was and how I'd never be anything more than trailer trash, and in the middle of shouting back that she was the reigning queen of the trailer park, I punched the cheesy wood paneling in the "kitchen". Surprised the shit out of both of us when my fist went straight through and splintered it into nothing.

I'll never forget that moment, because my mom looked at me with awe, and fear, and she shut the hell up. It was the best moment of my life, because all of a sudden, I had power. I had a way to make all the bad stuff stop. I had the ability to walk away from that bitch and make my life something better.

It may have taken a really fucking long time, but eventually, yeah. I did. And it was all because of being a Slayer.

Talk about your worst day ever.

Most of 'em sucked, so how do I pick one really bad one out of the mix? Okay, so it's probably a cliché, but the day I found my cat in the middle of the road, squished flatter than mouse-girl Fred's chest. I was totally wrecked. Shadow was my best friend, the only thing in the world that was mine, and the only thing that loved me and actually wanted to be around me.

I think that was probably when I realized that I couldn't let myself get close to anything or anyone. Even if they didn't mean to let you down or hurt you, sooner or later you were going to get shafted. You'd either lose them, or they'd lose you.

I figured it was easier to not let it get that far. Self-protection was a way of life, I mean, I'd already learned my mom hated me and that her string of boyfriends and husbands only saw me as a fucktoy. Why bother to give anyone else ammunition? That's just asking for trouble.

So I guess you could say that day was the day that I became hard and angry, and turned me into someone who could eventually just not give a shit, enough so to become a killer. Worst day ever? Score.

Curious about meta

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 04:27:29 GMT

Okay, so I'm not all that active in fandom. That's one of the reasons why I got my new journal, was so I could hide from the little that I was active in. Part of it is that I have no patience for lengthy discussions, and part of it is that I get bored with reading self-important asshats prattle on pretentiously. I'm a college-educated person, and my vocabulary is higher than most people I know IRL. However, I have no desire to wade through dozens of ten-thousand-dollar words spewed by people who love to hear themselves talk and want to sound important and intelligent. It feels like I'm slogging through molasses, and my brain inevitably shuts down. Especially when I'm tired-I really am not interested in taking the time to decipher what those strings of "I'm a graduate student in philosophy and history and religion" text actually mean.

I guess I'm curious, though. What is it that you guys like about meta? And how do you interpret it? To me, "meta" has always been this lofty term that described the self-important pretentiousness I mentioned above. Then sometimes I see little posts with abstract fandom thoughts that are just a snippet of someone's internal ramblings, and that's referred to as meta. I guess one of the problems with not being actively involved in fandom is that you're not as familiar with the terms when you do come across them.

For instance, it took a couple years before I knew what GIP meant. Heh.

I also think that's why I tend not to discuss my own fandom thoughts. I had a lot of things to say about Firefly when I first watched it, and I was tempted to because everyone was high off Serenity's release. Then I decided not to because I just didn't want to deal with arguments, which inevitably crop up. That's the exact reason why I never posted some thoughts I had on the Buffy S6 episode Seeing Red. I was afraid it would turn into this huge argument/fanwank, and I just didn't want to risk it.

I still want to post those thoughts, though. I'm just wiffling on it.

I know this has been rambly and not so much with the point-making, but cadence_k and I have been discussing the major fanwank over femslash that apparently occurred this weekend (I wasn't a part of it, but she linked me to it so I could become familiar with what went on), and it really got my hamster wheel turning on the whole topic of meta.

So what are your thoughts on the whole thing? What constitutes meta to you? And what is it about meta that you like so much? Is it the being part of a discussion, or being able to voice your opinion, or what? I really am curious.

Un-flocked so the scope of opinions has the potential to be much broader than what my small flist is able to contribute.